merry christmas to you all!

The past several years the only thing that excited me about Christmas were the presents. In fact the past 31 years to be exact. For my whole life the only thing that excited me was giving and receiving presents. To my credit as I got older it was mostly the giving that excited me but that was mostly to revel in what an excellent gift giver I was.

This year is different. I am not sure what I am so excited for but I know it has nothing to do with gifts. Though I am excited about those brightly colored packages there is something else that stirs in me.

It isn't presents and it isn't religion. people have been trying to get me on that train for years and I am sorry I do not have it in me. In fact this year I have regressed when it comes to religion and could classify myself as a dyed in the wool agnostic. I still believe in key fundamental things I was taught from childhood I just don't necessarily believe that god or Jesus are responsible for them. I am not sure any intelligence is behind it but my personal beliefs aren't the subject here.

I am discussing what makes Christmas exciting. The real thing that I am excited for I guess is the other people in my life. There so many people in my life that I love dearly and I am constantly amazed by their continuing love and affection.With these people in my life everyday is Christmas. Every time we hug or kiss or just compliment each other I feel the same power that used to come only from the promise of material goods.

I went to zoolights at point defiance with my new love in my life. To watch her face light up in the multicolored lights, to see how excited she was at every corner and every new exhibit, to laugh and hold one another in the festive celebration opened my eyes to the possibility that it isn't gifts or the promise of redemption. It isn't the celebration of religion or commerce that touches me this season. Its the other people in my world. It's their joy and their gratitude. It is and always should have been shared joy and love in all forms with those who are my friends and family that make my season special.

Not just my season...my whole life.

So sing the songs, open gifts, drink eggnog and hot chocolate with cookies and laughter, and have a Merry Christmas. Because you all deserve it. Just remember to stop and look at those people that make your life special and in that moment love them as much as you can, and if at all possible freeze that emotion for those people and keep it all year.

Love and Merry Christmas to you all.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel

The other side of me.

Let's face it folks...lately I have been extraordinarily happy. Which makes it increasingly difficult to write a blog on a regular basis that is full of venom and anger. A happy pirate gets boring. So I have decided in order to keep up my writing output and to feel like I am laying all out on the table for friends and family to see my thoughts as they occur I am focusing on my other side. My other personality.

It would appear when I am not busy plundering and pillaging ships out on the open sea, I am riding to the rescue of those in need and to the aid of a certain damsel in distress. There are parts of me that want to do...good deeds apparently.

And I think there is no better day to start the positive output of my personality than on the day of thanks.

So let's get started shall we.

I am in love. A subject that I have had issues with in the past. But it feels different this time. It doesn't have an expectation of me. It doesn't want me to become anything more than I am already. Because of this I want to be better. It makes me yearn to be the best man I can. It is internal revelation. A phrase I have used a lot lately.

Change in people comes from when they realize change must occur and they believe it within themselves truly. We externally cannot change anyone. No matter how much we yell and scream or beg and plead that person will never learn anything. I am changing.

I find myself noticing things that are amazing in my life. It finally feels like I am making all the right moves. Taking all the right steps. and I have all of you to thank for it. I already named a bunch of you over at black flag. So I wont cover that again, but all those mentioned should know that I am thinking of all of you constantly every time I think or do something wonderful. You are my inspiration.

I love truly and simply, purely and intentionally. And I will do everything I can to preserve this feeling.

With deep and abiding affection,
Gabriel